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It all started wayyyy before this, but I figured this is a good start and is still somewhat relevant.

Not my usual type; a nerdy, introverted gamer. My type before that was tall, dark and handsome. I figured that since my type before didn’t work out I’ll try something new. Maybe I’ll grow to like this dad bod…

Besides, he did make me laugh and did care and show up for me in a lot of ways that I am still appreciative for.
That’s why I think I was able to stay with him for 1.5 years.

I sooo desperately wanted it to work.
I wanted it to be something.
I wanted it to be the last, and not go through anymore heartbreaks.

I was settling.

…Who am I kidding?
Those aren’t good enough reasons to stay with someone.

I always knew in my heart that there’s someone else better for the both of us. That we could both do better in different ways, but it felt safe and that’s exactly what I wanted at that time and he gave me exactly that.

I honestly felt like I was there to train him for his next gf… For HIS character development.

Once I started feeling like that… I knew it was over.

I slowly started to become more and more aware of the holes in our relationship that I turned a blind eye to because I was scared to see and admit that we weren’t meant to be.

By settling I was also turning a blind eye to my own needs and what I truly deserve.
And no offense but it wasn’t him. It wasn’t something he could give me or figure out.

We just weren’t compatible, but safety and settling felt so good…

Lesson:
-Do not settle.