Scar-tissue

    A number of us have achievements we are genuinely proud of, and carry the accomplishment deep within our hearts. We bring these accomplishments along with us in life, and tally them up. Some of us take advantage of these experiences, and construct a thick wall around our soul in-order to protect ourselves from being hurt both physically, and mentally. This is a defensive mechanism seen in people who have once been damaged, and this is me speaking from experience. Up until I turned 12, my life was in shambles. Just as a person who has been abused in their childhood loses grasp on what "love" is, and appreciates being both physically and mentally attacked, I feel as if I am a frog in the well. I grew up on chandeliers, yellow Ferraris, and several 100 dollar bills in my friends wallets being a norm. All of my so called "friends" were filthy rich, and trying to keep up with them was a hassle, all by itself. I still remember purchasing expensive sneakers, and luxurious shirts just to keep up, and not because I found them aesthetically pleasing. Despite the fact that I tried to keep up just so desperately, I was not able to live up to their expectations, and usually left out when they went to go out, shopping. Now that I put my mind to it, these once so little events in my life have completely shaped my personality for who I am. Just as my heart was once scarred, the scar-tissue that coated my soul filled with melancholy has started to reappear recently, as I started to surround myself with the "right" people. As much as this might sound like an excuse for my wrongful actions, and cocky personality, I truly believe my defensive mechanism coated my jab with a scar-tissue known as "pride". But just as every broken heart has once been loved, I am hopefully on the right track to become the person I wish to be tomorrow.