Confidence

Last week, I met old my friend  for the first time in a year. At first, he invited me to drink with, so I was a little surprised to hear that. He looked the same as before and called out to me. We met at Kichijoji at 6pm ,but it was 8pm that we could enter the restaurant he made reservation. I spent a time in going around the station or drinking coffee for two hours.(the shop we went to was very interesting; old Japanese style.)

We talked about many difficult topic, however it was the problem that I didn't have confidence no matter we were talking about. I am not good at having relationships with someone and alone without doing that very much, and I can't chat with people. However, since it's a long time to be alone, so I'm sure I have an ability thinking things that people don't think. Some people say to me that you really think, however I don't have such a feeling. When I talk to them, I can't keep myself from talking about negative things. I don't know how to get the confidence, maybe I think that confidence comes from what I do usually. I'm living halfway in my life, so I'm fool not to know what I should do. I wrote about importance of passion last time, so this time is last to talk  negatively. I want not to think anymore.