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Life is not easy

Hi guys! How are you all doing these days? Now the time is winter! I love this season because my birthday, xmas and new year! It’s so exciting!! I will update the life recently. It’s been four months since I came….

日本の皆さんお久しぶりです:) お元気にしてますか?ついに冬!誕生日にクリスマスにお正月、私が大好きな季節です🌟最近の生活をアップデートしていきます。こちらでの生活、4ヶ月がたったころでございます。

Part-time job
I was done for this semester on Dec 1st, then I started working on campus. I work at KU dining or Starbucks. I’ve been having fun talking with co-workers and other students and making some coffee at Starbucks! It’s sometimes difficult to remember a bunch of menus though. I’ve worked for 7 hours a day this week every weekday so it’d been quite busy for me. I’m used to working at Mcdonald's in Japan by the way, it’s very very interesting for me the different workstyles between Japan and the us. It makes me laugh a lot, it’s so funny! It’s just freedom here this is because we don’t have any restrictions and rules.  There’s the only rule to wear a KU dining T-shirt and come. My co-workers always listen to music or call someone, or eat something. They are often late to come but just on time to leave😂😂 One of them dresses up the elf one day, also he rode his bicycle at the dining hall with a unicorn helmet🦄 And, we had fun making snowman pancakes on the one day shift together. How freedom is!!! It’s just crazyyyy!!! The other thing, it’s also funny for me that there are as menu always hashed browns, tater tots, french fries, bacon, mac & cheese etc… Everybody eats a lot anytime, even co-workers or students. Actually, they are always eating whatever they want. However, there’s one thing that makes me mad. It is that they are always throwing lots of food away. That makes me so sad because there are homeless people on the street but they seem not to care. Also, they usually use paper cups and plates, plastic forks and knives even though there are lots of plates(maybe because the dishwasher is not working these days). It's so frustrating that they don’t care about the environment at all, there is no way to take care of sustainability. (come on America!!!!) But anyway, I’m enjoying and learning a lot from my part time job!

12/1に1学期目の授業が終わり、キャンパス内でバイトを始めました。シフトによって学内の食堂かスタバで働いてます☕️アメリカのかわいい女の子やかっこいい男の子達にサーブできるから幸せ:) バリスタもメニュー覚えるのは大変だけど凄く楽しい:) 今週は平日8〜15時で毎日バリバリ働いてます!さてさて日本でマックで働いてた私ですが、こちらのワークスタイルは面白くてありゃしない。FREEDOM!!!!!の一言。同僚はイヤホンつけて音楽聞くか誰かと電話してる、みんな何かつまんでちょこちょこ食べるし、ルールは仕事のt-shirt着て時間通りに来ましょうっていうくらい?もう本当にええええって思うことの連続で面白い。出勤時間は遅れてくるくせに退勤は絶対に時間通り!同僚のあるひとりはxmas elfの格好をしてたり。ユニコーンのヘルメットかぶって室内で自転車乗ったり。この間は雪だるまのパンケーキを作って盛り上がった😂サーブするサイドメニューにはいつもハッシュドポテト、コロコロポテト、フライドポテト、カリカリベーコン、マッケンチーズetc…同僚達これでもかってくらいソースかけたり、お客さんにご飯3スクープにチキンも3つとか言われて食べすぎって思わず笑っちゃう(普通は1スクープ1チキン)😂そしてアメリカ、さすが大量生産大量消費の国。ねえ計算してるの?何考えてるの?って量の残飯を普通に捨てる。ホームレスの人々が街中にあんなにいるのに…って悲しくなります。またお皿あるのに紙コップ、紙皿、プラフォーク&スプーンを使う(dish washier壊れてるからかも) 本当に環境配慮が足りなさすぎてムカつきます。どうにかしてほしいアメリカ👿そんなこんなですが、バイト生活も始まりまたまた楽しさと学びが増える日々です!

ナチョチーズの日:) nacho cheese day
こんなブサイクな格好で働いてます。looks so ugly with hair net…

Heartbroken
To be honest, actually I’d had a boyfriend since I came, then I broke up with him recently. Honestly, I’d been literally heartbroken for the first time in my life. I think it was the worst part of my life. I’d been crying a lot, the amount of that I cannot believe in mornings and evenings even in classes and conversation groups. Furthermore, I couldn’t sleep and eat for a week. That was a really hard, painful, sad and tough time. I’m getting alright now step by step though!! For me, it was such a special time because he was my first boyfriend ever, also we are from different countries and have different cultures, and English was the second language for both of us. He made me happy a lot, there is a lot of happiness that I’d never felt. That was a really good time. After breaking up with him, I truly learned a lot. I believe I will be able to level up as I’ve had a tough time. It was my problem that I lost myself, and that was really bad for me. I’ve been spending my time working out, reading books, watching my favorite tv shows, and writing airmail to my families and friends, diaries and note recently! It was just tough the first two weeks but I just started working at dining at that time. Other things, I’d been keeping busy hanging out with friends to watch KU basketball games, go to a xmas party etc… Just being with friends, that helped me a lot actually. I think it will take time to get over him but I’m getting alright and I will be completely fine for sure. I had such a good experience before turning twenty, I will level up to become a different person by brushing up myself:)


実はこっちに来て彼氏ができました、その彼とこの間お別れをしました。授業中も学校のアクティビティ中も泣いてしまう日々、朝も夜もこんなに自分から涙が出るのかというほど泣いてました。さらに1週間ろくに夜も眠れず喉にご飯も通らない日々。凄く辛かった。今は落ち着いて、大丈夫ですよ:) 自分にとって初めての経験ばっかりで言語も文化も違かったから、本当に貴重で特別な時間でした。本当に沢山幸せをもらった、初めて感じたハピネスが沢山ありました。そして本当に学べたことが沢山あります、凄く辛かったからこそ成長できる!自分を見失うことは本当に良くないです、今はワークアウトして本を読んだり、ドラマを観たり、手紙や日記、noteを書いたりしてゆっくり自分の時間を過ごしています❤️‍🩹最初の2週間はとにかくきつかったけど、ちょうどバイトが始まって忙しくしたり。念願のKUのバスケの試合を観に行ったりクリスマスパーティーに参加したり。周りにいてくれる友達のありがたみを感じた期間でもありました。時間がかかるかもしれないけど、新しい自分にレベルアップします!自分に磨きをかけようと思います。20歳になる前に本当に良い経験をさせてもらった、もっと素敵なLadyになりたいと思います:)

Reality in the us
I’m gonna share the black sight of America that I’ve never seen on my Chicago trip. Oh my gosh big city, that was really bad. I’ve never seen such sights before actually if I were in Japan, even in Lawrence, KS. NEVER!! That was just really smelly and dirty. First thing, that smelled weed so bad in the city wherever I go. Next, there was trash everywhere, and that sucked restrooms. I’m just so surprised that they were more than I expected even though I’d heard from my friends that the big city is so dirty and dangerous before traveling. Furthermore, there were lots of family homeless people. There were kids homeless a lot. Just passing through in front of them, that was just sad. The other things, some signs said no guns on every entrance door, cops or fire truck sirens sounding all the time, the guys who were jumping over the gate at the subway station. That was the reality of America. Just oh my gosh, they made me feel so bad. I’d been feeling some fear if I took the train or walked around, especially after getting dark. It was totally not the same at all even though there are homeless people in Lawrence a lot. (And personally, I think the people in the city are not kind, they look mad, and they don’t smile a lot) The worst thing of this trip was the bus coming back from Chicago to Lawrence. The man who checked my bus tickets was doing drugs, the passengers were just rude to listen to music out loud for hours on the bus, and also smelled of weed on the bus all the time. I’d just made my wishes “I don’t wanna die, I hope to get home safely” all the time when I was taking the bus. I just felt relieved when I arrived at Lawrence eventually after a sixteen-hour road trip:)

シカゴ旅行で今まで見たことのないアメリカの黒い景色を見たのでここでシェアしようと思います。アメリカの大都市、正直ひどかったです。私が滞在しているLawrence, KSとは全く比べ物にならないくらいひどいです。日本では全く想像できない光景ばかりです。まず本当に臭い&汚いの一言。街にはあちこちゴミだらけ、お店のトイレは話にならないほど汚い。街中がウィードの匂い。友達から聞いてはいたけど、はるかに想像を超えてきたのでびっくりしました。そして街にはブロックごとにホームレス、それも家族のホームレス。母親と小さい子供達が道端に沢山座っていて、本当に胸が痛かった。建物の入り口に銃の持ち込み禁止のサイン、四六時中サイレンの音、地下鉄のゲートを飛び越える青年達etc…これがアメリカの現実なんだと気づかされました。電車を乗るにしても街を歩くにしても(特に日没後)ずっと恐怖と隣り合わせでした。留学先でさえもホームレスはいるけど、全く比にならなかったです。(個人的に都会の人達は優しくないとも思った、表情がおっかない)いちばん酷かったのはシカゴからの帰りのバス。係員が目の前でドラッグ吸ってるし、乗客はイヤホンなしで何時間もガンガン音楽流してくるし、バス中ウィードの匂いだし”死にませんように、無事に帰れますように”と願うばかり。16時間の長旅を終えて、バスがカンザスに着いた時はすごくホッとしました。

こういう道は絶対に歩いちゃダメ。watch out if passing through like this road!!
ショッピングモールのトイレ。that sucks
地下鉄での光景。なんて行儀の悪い… on the subway
街中こんなかんじだった。just garbage at a bus stop


Anyway, I’ve had such a great time that I just want to share stories with everyone!! Of course, sometimes I’ve had a tough time. I've usually read letters from my family and friends again and again when I had like that time. And then, go to workout!! I don’t know why that usually happens that makes me want to run a lot when I feel messed up. I often think that life is not easy randomly, we’ve been having good and bad times daily. I’ve been having both times dramatically especially since I came. They are very dramas!! And lots of adventures!! For example, the electricity in the apartment shut down last week. But I didn’t get surprised again any more, not the same as the first time like that. The other thing, for me, it’s been tough because of being heartbroken but I will have to get over! It’s kind of waste of time to think about the past. Also, there are lots of things that make me happy these days!! I got a perfect score on my reading/writing class final!! (I was so glad because I’d been struggling to write an academic essay) I saw xmas lights downtown, that was so pretty!! Hot pot party with my friends!! I finally got a tv at my apartment!! (I’d been waiting for four months since I moved in. It’s so cool american tv haha) I got an airmail from my family!! etc… Overall, I’ve been having a study-abroad life trying everything that I’m interested in to tell myself “Don’t be afraid!!” haha!! It’s been so fast for these four months, but actually I never thought I wanted to go back to Japan. This is because I have a limit to stay just only for this academic year in the us so I will not be able to stop and give up, just enjoy and try!!! I think it’s clear this adventure will give me something for my future. I’m gonna enjoy it as much as I can the rest of the time!! Omg one more semester left, a teen’s graduation, and a new year!! Let’s gooooo!!!

そんなこんなで帰国したら話したいってことが溜まりにたまる日々です:) 大変で辛い時間ももちろんあります。そういう時は日本にいる家族と友達からもらった手紙をいつも読み返してます。そしてジムに行って運動する。気持ちがぐちゃっとなってる時はなぜかいつもランニングしたくなる。人生って大変だな〜ってふとした時に思います。良い時も悪い時もやってくる。こっちに来てそれをめまぐるしく体験してます。本当に毎日ドラマの日々。本当に何もかもがアドベンチャー!この間はアパートメントのブレーカーが急に落ちて、またかよって感じ。Heartbrokenしたことも普通にしんどいけど、みーんな経験してることなのかと思うとくよくよしてられない!それに嬉しいことも沢山あるし!最近嬉しかったことはreading/writingのfinalで100点をとったこと!(essayで苦労したから本当に嬉しかった)ダウンタウンのクリスマスライトを観たこと!友達とのhot pot party!アパートメントに念願のtvが届いたこと!(入居してからずっと待ち
続けてた。アメリカのtvまじイケてる) 家族からairmail届いたこと!etc… Don’t be aftaidって自分に言い聞かせながら何でもトライしてみてる、今に全集中して生きてる留学生活です。あっという間に過ぎた4ヶ月、正直に日本に帰りたいと思ったことは1度もないです、バスケを続けてたときと同じ感覚。やめる、諦めるって選択肢はないしゴールもあるからそこまでしっかりやることやろうっていう気合い。今の時点で私の将来にこの留学が何かきっかけを与えてくれるものというのは明らかです。さあもうすぐ留学も折り返し点、teenの卒業、2023>>>2024!貴重なこの留学生活、まだまだこれからも楽しんでいきます!!!

KU BASKETBALL GAME🔥
秋学期ラストクラスはパーティー🥳
we had a party on the last day of this semester
みんなでテレビでKUバスケの試合観戦!
watching ku basketball game on tv let’s go KU❤️💙
birthday party🪅
CHICAGO!!! it was super cold
-7℃とかの日もあって寒かった🥶
omg watching a NBA game!!!
Chicago bulls vs La lakers

最後まで読んでいただきありがとうございます!Thank you for reading!

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