Daijoubu
Hiiii It's me! long time no talk!
How have you been?
Mine is okay. Just thinking a lot. But I believe that I need to keep thinking until my brain dead.
Today's topic is my past.
This is a bit embarrassing but I have not been in a good relationship in my life.
Many people call me crazy and have mental issue such as schizophrenia, manic depression etc etc.. people recommend to me to go to therapist.
But everyone have deprecation and get mad don't you ?
People want to think they are different when you cannot understand them.
Because I do haha.
I call them "they are Psychopath". so actually that is fair.
I don't blame them.
This is one of my funny things, which is a dating guy said "you have schizophrenia" but he has a wife and everything was lies!
which has illness ?! haha
Anyway, it is okay you think I am weird because I think so too.
In my brain is like universe. There are heaps of possibility and hypothesis.
I lose way what I want to.
I like writing but it is hard because my mind will change quickly.
Sorry if you feel tired to read my articles. but I would like to write down follow my heart.
Have you ever gotten bullied?
I have! 3 times! haha
7, 17 and 23 years old. I felt like being myself is never allowed in this world.
7 yeas old. I noticed when I feel fun or feel happy , somewhere and someone feel unhappy.
17 yeas old. I learned what I cannot talk boys if they have girlfriends. and If people who around you and they likes my friends, I cannot texted to them.
23 years old. I learned that right things will kill you sometimes. being nice and being kind people killed by mean people.
Last building was difficult. I was being myself, doing right things . Senpai ignored me for 3 years and same group of colleagues dislike me. and the group was all males.
Since that, I feel like I don't want to lose with males. haha
How many times I cried in a office toilet haha . I was well done.
I stopped to relating with many people. If I have huge connections if will get trouble with people.
If they think I'm crazy, they will avoid me right?
People care about neighbours even though they do no't want to.
I guess you are a monster if you could cannot care about people.
I understand that human cannot live alone. I don't want to become happy if I have to go to the point of hurting someone.
If I could be happy, hopefully people around me feel the same way.
Okay, I forgot what I wanted to write here haha.
Other day I asked people what you are interested in my dating history haha
I'll write here or another site with password.
Don't worry I will think the configuration of contents.
Thank you for reading.
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