8

This week has been freaking hectic and awful. My senior manager told me like "that's it?!" mentioning how slow I get tasks done or maybe (it looked like) I was in sabotage. 

With that my senior didn't really teach me how to do my tasks, just because he/she just got promoted to senior and did not really know about the client,

dude I cried after work. It was Tuesday I believe. 

I was going to call my girl friend at first, complaining how miserable I was today at work, but I ended up with not calling her. I thought she won't be able to handle it, but more importantly, she does not have to. She has her own life, and I don't want to bother her. Plus, she is just like other people. Not blame on her though, she wasn't the right person at the moment. 

Instead, I called my home. I called my grandma. 

I did call wrong number a couple of time, because it's been a while to call home. But eventually got the right number so I waited, like a 30 seconds. 

I knew she takes a quite time to stand up or even move. She is old. 

Voice that I am familiar with. She noticed in a second, that the guy over phone was her grandson, me. 

「あら〇〇ちゃんか！元気にしてる？お仕事がんばってる？お父さんとお母さん仕事にいってるよ」

I knew it. That's why I call at night. I knew there was only you in my home with the cutest dog in this universe,ふうちゃん。

I kept talking her as if I am doing well, trying to hide the fact, that I was crying. 

I needed to talk to her kind of loudly, but I don't fucking care.

It was about 1 minute and 30 seconds. 

I was content, satisfied, and relieved from some strong strong pressure that I have been feeling from last week. 

I bet she is the only god damn human being who can make me so within 90 seconds. 

Damn, I wanna fucking go home. I miss home so fucking bad.

Someday, one day, with a bit vivid windy mooring, I will be home. Not sure if they would be still there, but you know. I'll be fine with it. I am used to be alone. Good at being lonely.