August 19th 2

I don't like sleeping.  When I was working at a hospital, I used to love sleeping because I was so exhausted after the work.  I felt like sleeping is the most joyful thing in my life.  I even felt excited before sleeping even though I was supposed to be calming down and going to sleep. 

I don't like sleeping now because it feels hard to fall asleep.  When you go to bed, most of the people spend a couple of minutes with eyes closed and just lay down before actually sleeping.  It takes time to lose your consciousness.  I feel like the time between when I go to bed and when I get to the actual sleep is too long for me.  It always takes more than 1 hour and most of the time I take sleeping pills around midnight. 

 I am trying to sleep early.  I do turn off my phone at 9 pm and turn down the light of my bedroom.  I go to bed at around 10～11PM and try to sleep but 1 hour after that, I am wide awake because I get tired to try to get sleep. 

I do think that I can't get sleep soon because I am not working in the day time.  If I work, I get tired and can sleep soon like I did when I was working at a hospital.  

I think that going to bed is like saying good-bye to someone.  Sleeping happens when you're alone.  If you try to get sleep with something by touching your phone or listening to the radio in your bed, you can't get proper sleep.  

Maybe I should get used to being alone to get better sleep.