Toast to Life 29 (Hard to keep writing blogs)

It's hard to start a blog. It's harder to keep it on. This blog has been in "black-out" for almost a month since the last one on March 29. The fact is astonishing even for the writer. Damn my tardiness. 

Then, I started reading a book "About Writing" by Yukio Noguchi, an emeritus professor at Hitotsubashi University, but I can't quite understand his contents because...I'm an IT layman. A former bureaucrat, Professor Noguchi, who has been playing with computers since he was an university student, explains in the book how to innovatively create a database in his/her head for new writings, by using IT.

On April 14, the day of my latest consultation, upon reception of Dr. Tabei's referral I saw anther MD in the oral surgery department of the same hospital. I had complained on March 23 to Dr. Tabei about my tongue with a little dot-like white pimple appearing in the middle (photo down, sorry about the image blur). The day after Dr. Tabei made an appointment of the MD for me, however, this spot disappeared.

I wondered, "if I keep caring about such a minor thing, there is no end to my worries, like "it hurts over here: I get numb over there".

On April 14, a doctor in the oral surgery told, "Avastin (a molecular-targeted medication I am using both for brain and lungs) can cause troubles in the mouth. Didn't you know?" I also talked to the MD about numbness in my tongue tip as well as other "problems", but half were due to anti-cancer drugs and the rest to having my teeth straightened 15 years ago or wisdom teeth pulled out 10 years ago. Later that day, I found that Avastin only sometimes damages peripheral nerves.

By the way, my normal practice in the hospital is that I go round multiple departments from the morning on the consultation day, and there are generated a waiting time in-between. On this day, too, I used my time for reading Prof. Noguchi's book, and tried to physically record with my phone about my mouth. But in the end, I didn't have a chance to listen to it again. Although I strongly agree with Prof. Noguchi's opinion, "don't get your ideas lost", it may not be easy, or extremely difficult, for those who have never written any book. Especially, an IT amateur like me should have a difficulty in understanding his book. There must be ascetic penance waiting for me to continue writing.

On the other hand, there were some good things happened to me, too, in the same week. One was that I had a regular MRI, and the result was negative, meaning no tumor cell being emerging. I was able "to get down under the cutting board". (For non-Japanese speakers, apologies for the literal translation from Japanese old saying.)

Another one came the next day, when I went to exactly the center of Tokyo, Otemachi. The photo on top of this blog was taken in front of JR Tokyo Station with blue sky in the back. The spring sky was clear, reflecting the green grass shining in the brown station building, which had totally new insides but the outside left old-fashioned. I was there for lunch invited by business persons. When the invitation email had arrived at me a month ago, I got scared to come out over to the station, but the result was superb: lunch was more than great, and just seeing this scenery even made me feel refreshed.

Stuffing this and that in a single blog may better stop here. I will start lung treatment on Tuesday, 20th, and I will be admitted for four nights and five days.

(To be continued.)