Do I get angry?

One question people ask me so often

So these days I get asked by manyyyyy people
:  Hanae do you get angry ?
…. which stopped me for a second to answer to.

Hmm I actually don't, didn't remember that moment in the past I let the 'feeling' go. Just not really interested in it anymore.

So today I am here to talk about my perspective that I have gained in my life, of anger. lol I had a conversation about this with someone the other day and I wanted to share that with you.

Anger eats your soul  

I DO get annoyed and frustrated, but not angry. As a kid I used to get angry a lot but I often felt the pain when I got angry. I kind of knew that feeling angry is a mental state that goes away once I cry all out. But well, I am a normal human being, so it is not when I was a kid that I stopped getting angry, it came later on in life.

Through my high school time and uni time,
I discovered a lot about 'feelings'. I read a lot about it but honestly true learning came from my own experience.

I gradually started realizing that anger is not a feeling. It is a tool to show your sadness in a different form. Then I just threw away that 'feeling' that I had for a long time.  
It is really a scary feeling that lets you hold onto things for longer than you need, and I had no need of it anymore.

Knowing your own way of dealing with emotions

To me it is really an important thing to know how I / people around me deal with emotions.  And talking out loud is the way that I personally manage my emotions. When I am sad, I say I'm sad. When I am frustrated, I say so, too. When I think I am dumb, I laugh at myself and say that. Because I feel I am dumb.

I look at anger to be a friction that happens within yourself. And to me saying things like 'wow I am dumb' 'wow I am stupid'  when I feeling like it is not necessarily being negative, it may become unhealthy if you define yourself with those words, but not lying to how I feel in the moment is probably a key to not get angry.

Being peaceful is a choice

Lastly,

Let me share my biggest motto
: Be peaceful.
I don't get angry AT someone,
I don't get sad BY someone.
I feel sad around someone because something they do or did was not something I wanted or expected, but not at them.  
I know what I want and  I just try to see if a situation or person is there with what I want. And if not, there is no need to react in a exhausting way.

As human beings, as we live in a community and society, it is inevitable to come across situations that could let us down/upset/ and feel sad. Those situations come to you at times even without you choosing it.

So knowing how to be peaceful, don't use tools like anger, just chill is important for us I think. We can feel sad but not take it too far to the point where daunting things accelerate is crucial.

WELL
I had long analysis on anger here today!  
I hope you had some takeaway 🤭lol

If you throw at me any topic, I am sure I will talk about it forever haha

Thank you so much for your reading,  
I will talk to you soon:))

Hanae