20190329_IDIYによる英作文の添削④

20193027_英文日記 (提出先：MBarney)

■英文原稿
①”If I was a novelis,” I thought while I was at work. ”I traveled around the world for interviews.”
②Because I love to trip and write something,
③I really want to be any writer such novelist, travel diary witer, or interviewer.
④I didn’t understand what I want to write anything.

■添削結果
①"If I was a novelist", I thought while I was at work, "I’d travel around the world for interviews."
②I’d love to take a trip and write something about it;
③ I really want to be a writer such as a novelist, travel diary writer, or interviewer.
④I don't understand exactly what I want to write, so I’ll happily write about anything.

■辞書で検索した個所＆添削個所
①while I was at work…仕事中に
・”If I was …",I thought while I was at work,(ここはカンマ)" I'd ～. "
・仮定法なので If I was…, I would ～.
②理由ではないのでBecauseは不要。関連のある並列なのでセミコロン ; 。・I'd love to …ぜひ～したい、喜んで～したい
④「はっきりと分からない」=I don't understand exactly what ～
・「よろこんで書きたい」=I'll happily write about ～.

20190329_英文課題(About Japan’s cruise train "Nanatsuboshi (Seven Stars)”)

■英文原稿
①I really want to take the train because I the train will give lots of "omotenashi" ,high quality of customer service.
②When I looked up the Web site of "Nanatsuboshi", I was impressed by pictures of interior and smile of employees,
③especially local people waving the flags at the station.

■添削結果
①I really want to take the train because the train will offer lots of "omotenashi", high quality Japanese hospitality.
②When I looked at the website of "Nanatsuboshi", I was impressed by the pictures of the interior and the smile of employees,
③and especially local people waving the flags at the station.

■辞書で検索した個所＆添削個所
①offer high quality Japanese hospitality…qualityは形容詞としても使える！「上質の」「高級な」
②look at the websitebe impressed by…「～に感銘をうける」
・be impressed by…「～に感銘をうける」
・webに載っている”特定の”写真の話なので、the を必要とする
③pictures A and B, and especially …and especially ＝「そして特に」
・people waving the flags at the station