Try to reach the heart instead of the ears.

We have one mouth and two ears.
Therefor we must have double the ability to listen than we do speak.

We all wish to be understood.
It is reasonable for us to desire mutual understanding.

"不説過 Fusseka " is one of the fundamental principles we are taught in Buddhism.
The breakdown of the Kanji characters is as follows :
"不Not ", "説 Opinion", "過Surplus".

The craving to have the other party understand us can hinder us if it is too strong.

Overindulging in a discussion about yourself or your own perspective is a sign that your heart lacks satisfaction or fulfilment.

You’re trying to prove your own worth to others, but mostly to yourself.
When there is an altercation and you complain or blame someone for their small errors, you may fall into the habit of digging up the past, or lecturing.

In meetings or when we have conversations with friends, you may find yourself talking about your thoughts and opinions too extensively.
When we fall into these habits, it’s the ego showing its face in a form of these sentiments: "Look at me!" or "Approve of me!"
Now, because your ego is unconscious, it doesn’t recognize that it is repelling your listeners.

If we speak too much about our own feeling, people will become defensive or feel repulsed and to begin to avoid us.

"We speak and make sounds when we should be listening, to strengthen our own identity rather than seeking better understanding."
; By Matte Refic

If you want to be understood, we must understand others first

Speak calmly, seek understanding, and be patient. If we come off too strong, the other will close up.

So with gentleness and warmth in our voice along with plenty of space for the other to vice their intentions, we foster an atmosphere where our own perception can be better received.

Instead of trying to reach the ears, we must try to reach the heart.

The desire to reach the other will be clear with a quiet and gentle approach.

This is the heart of “Fusseka”