20220923

Good morning. It is hard to see the situation where I am in. I mainly focus on the conditions in the short run. I can not see the future of mine, and I basically decide what I can do now. There are two people, as often said, that something is divided by two: being able to make efforts in the future view and not. I am the latter. I can't quit smoking, drinking, or choosing what I should do now. Do I have a higher desire than the average person, or does everyone conceal it? How does it deal with it? = / (Do I want to die earlier in legal?)

I'm in the chaos of mine; I do not understand myself and do not know my thoughts, whether it is collected or mistaken. I tend to decide in one direction and can't consider some factors in one situation, so I feel more pain in only my thoughts and dive into the hole of what anyone couldn't understand. Of course, I continue to be annoyed by the unknown. It doesn't have a goal. Is there a goal for someone? Everyone is upset about something. If one is done, the other one will happen.

That's why I am in the chaos. I can't endure myself if the person thinks only of me. The problem-solving to the question is to depend on someone, share thoughts, and believe not only by myself. By the way, I want to find out something or someone that I am enormously eager to think about, not me.

20220923