It's no use lamenting the interruption (August 23, 2022)

At the beginning of the year, I set a goal to ride the train at least once a month (even if it is just one stop). Since I had hyperventilated in the train, it has become somewhat of a difficult space for me to be in, and since I don't need to ride in my daily life, I sometimes go months without riding.

After months of not riding, when I haven't ridden in a while, I have a strong feeling of anxiety about what to do if I hyperventilate. Hearing the "pshoo" sound when the door closes can also make me feel faint.

So I need to get used to it. So I decided to take the train at least once a month.

That was cut short in July, my bad summer.

However, I did ride in August. There is no point in lamenting the interruption.

As I mentioned before, "breathing slowly to avoid hyperventilating" doesn't really work for me. Once I've taken my Alprazolam an hour before, bought a bottle of rooibos tea, finished using the public toilet, and have my help card ready to go, there's not much else I can do except stand up straight.

I feel like if I stand up straighter, my anxiety gets smaller. I have no evidence to support this, but from my own experience, I believe it is better to do so when things are a little tough.

On my most recent ride, I couldn't sit down, which is unusual for a rural route, so I stood with my back straight. No, I rather had to bend my body backwards. This seems to put a strain on my bones and organs, so I had to do it in moderation.

I think that doing something while riding the train may distract you from your anxiety. But for me, listening to music or playing games doesn't seem to fit well. Instead, taking pictures of scenery with a camera or shining my glasses with a cloth is good for me. Also, meditating.