The truth is......

Three students from the same high school are across the street from the train I boarded this morning. They would never dream that the wheelchair user woman across from them was a graduate of the same high school as them. They were probably high school sophomores or juniors, as the bags were not brand new. Since it was past school commuting time, I wondered if they would take an entrance exam for some private university. Otherwise, all three of them would have been late, but that would never happen.

I have not known why they are going to that high school, but if it is because they are unwilling, I sympathize with them.

The high school they and I attended is a suitable place to "study" or "pass the college entrance exam to the school of my choice". In other words, it is a high school that is not suitable for anything other than studying. I don't think it is at all suited for the so-called "celebration of youth". In my case, the atmosphere agreed with me, and my academic performance improved dramatically from what it had been before. I am grateful for that.

The three people on the train are in the same place as the man I hold most dear to my heart. I envy you more than anything for that. Because it is a wish that I cannot fulfil.
Of course, they don't necessarily know the man. Maybe more likely that they don't know. Even if they are in the same school, the chance is the luck of the hour. Still, they can meet that man without knowing it. It is a sorrowful thought for me, as I would love to see him, but that will never happen.

I contacted him once in the summer nothing then. And now winter is coming. If there is a reason to communicate that man next, is his birthday?

I no longer understand myself. Maybe I'm crazy. The truth is, I want to see you. That's all.