2024/04/15

●添削前

My partner and I moved here at the end of autumn four years ago.
And The following spring, swallows came to fly to build their nest.
We were very glad because we had heard that houses where the swallows builds its their nests become happy.
They sit on their eggs, keeping them warm for two or three weeks.
Before long, baby swallows came out from of the eggs, and the parents swallows became very busy feeding their ones them.
All of the day All day long, they flew up from the nest to catch feed food over and over.
It was as if thousands of arrows were shot into the sky.
At the beginning of summer, young swallows begin to practice flying.
The flying lesson of flying is very important for young ones.
Bbecause they must fly in somewhere  to the south, away from about 5000 kilometers away, before winter.
It's This is called 'watari.'
And now, young swallows leave the nest, and other swallows, different from their parents, come to help.
It was very easy to find it's that today is the day today.
Parents and helper swallows were twittering to the young swallows to come out.
It was very lively.
One day in autumn, they were gethering  gathered at the one place, and leave left for. their journey, which It is 'watari.'
I didn't see it, and but I want to see it someday.

●添削後

My partner and I moved here at the end of autumn four years ago.
The following spring, swallows came to fly and build their nest.
We were very glad because we had heard that houses where swallows build their nests become happy.
They sit on their eggs, keeping them warm for two or three weeks.
Before long, baby swallows came out of the eggs, and the parent swallows became very busy feeding them.
All day long, they flew from the nest to catch food over and over.
It was as if thousands of arrows were shot into the sky.
At the beginning of summer, young swallows begin to practice flying.
The flying lesson is very important for the young ones because they must fly somewhere to the south, about 5000 kilometers away, before winter.
This is called 'watari.'
And now, young swallows leave the nest, and other swallows, different from their parents, come to help.
It was very easy to find that today is the day.
Parents and helper swallows were twittering to the young swallows to come out.
It was very lively.
One day in autumn, they gathered at one place and left for their journey, which is 'watari.'
I didn't see it, but I want to see it someday.

*Grammar stuff

Home / House

1. "Home" は、暮らしている場所や家族との絆を指します。

   • I feel at home when I'm with my family.（家族と一緒にいると落ち着く）

   • There's no place like home.（自宅ほど居心地の良い場所はない）

2. "House" は、具体的な建物や住居を指します。

   • Their house is big and beautiful.（彼らの家は大きくて美しい）

   • I'm going to her house for dinner.（彼女の家に夕食を食べに行く）

したがって、"home" は暮らしや家族とのつながりを強調する場合に使われ、"house" は建物や住居を指す場合に使われます。

Food / Feed

1. "Food" は、人や動物が摂取する食べ物全般を指します。

   • I need to buy some food for dinner.（夕食のために食料品を買わなければならない）

   • She's allergic to certain foods.（彼女は特定の食品にアレルギーがある。）

2. "Feed" は、他の人や動物に食べ物を与える行為を指します。

   • She feeds her cat twice a day.（彼女は猫に1日2回餌をやる）

   • The farmer feeds the cows with hay.（農夫は牛に干し草を与える）

したがって、"food" は食べ物そのものを指し、"feed" は食べ物を与える行為を指します。

●おまけ（ネイティブっぽくとお願いしてみた）

My partner and I moved here at the end of autumn four years ago.
The following spring, swallows came to fly and build their nests.
We were very glad because we had heard that houses where swallows build their nests become happy.
They sit on their eggs, keeping them warm for two or three weeks.
Before long, baby swallows came out of the eggs, and the parent swallows became very busy feeding them.
All day long, they flew from the nest to catch food over and over.
It was as if thousands of arrows were being shot into the sky.
At the beginning of summer, young swallows begin to practice flying.
The flying lesson is very important for the young ones because they must fly somewhere to the south, about 5000 kilometers away, before winter.
This is called 'watari.'
And now, young swallows leave the nest, and other swallows, different from their parents, come to help.
It was very easy to see that today was the day.
Parents and helper swallows were twittering to the young swallows to come out.
It was very lively.
One day in autumn, they gathered at one place and left for their journey, which is called 'watari.'
I didn't see it, but I want to see it someday.

Find / See

Find ： 発見にはある程度の努力や探索が必要であったことを示唆します。
See ： 努力をあまり必要とせず、より直接的または明白な認識を示唆します。

「It was very easy to find that today was the day.」は、今日がその日だと気付くのにある程度の努力や探索が必要であったことを示唆します。「It was very easy to see that today was the day.」は、今日がその日だと気付くのがより直接的または明白であったことを示唆します。

*Prompt

その１.
Can you correct my English?
--Can you show me the points and reasons that you corrected?
--Can you show me the points and reasons that you corrected using a table?
--Can you rewrite the sentence to sound more native?

その２.
・What are the points for English beginners to write an English diary?

その３.
#Instructions :
・You are an American professional English teacher. Please output your best correction based on the following constraints and input sentences.

#Constraints :
・The text should be easy to understand for a TOEIC score of 575.
・Keep sentences concise.
・Correct any grammatical errors or more appropriate expressions.
・Show me the points and reasons that you corrected using a table.

#Input :
＜日記本文＞

その４.
#Instructions :
・You are an American professional English teacher. Please output your best correction based on the following constraints and input sentences.

#Constraints :
・Rewrite the sentence to sound more native.

#Input :
＜文＞