May 19 2024: Nothing Touch You! （君に届かない！）

‘None of what I said has touched you!’ My wife often tells it to me in our daily life. When I talk with my wife, it sometimes seems to her that I do not listen to what she is saying. When she is aware of it, she always blames me for it and stops talking. When I am told that I have not listened to her, I am not happy because I was trying to listen to her as much as possible. But I do not argue back as it is a waste of time. If I talk back, I would be paid back tenfold. So, after that, we are always in an awkward mood for a while.
I do not mean to say that I always listen seriously to what she says and that I always try not to miss any. In fact, I have to admit that I have sometimes missed a part of what she said. I have done it when she talked too long. In such a case, I listen intently to her in the beginning, as I always do. But as she goes on without allowing me to speak, I lose my focus and fail to keep listening to her. It is at that moment that she tells me that none of what she has said has touched me. I try to cut in her talk but always fail to. She never stops talking until she has said what she wants to say to the end.
But I do not intend to blame her for such an awkward talk. If anything, it is I who should be blamed for it. I do not talk as much as she does. Far from it, mostly, I am constantly listening to her with nodding. I seemed to get used to it too much. In other words, I have gotten used to listening to her and seem to have forgotten that I am having a conversation with her. I will try to improve my conversation skills. It does not seem to be too late for me to improve my skills. She still seems to be ready to talk with me. I have to learn how to lead the conversation.

　「私が言ったことは何一つあなたに届いていない！」。これは、日常生活の中で、妻からよく言われることです。妻と話をしていると、ボクが妻の話を聞いていないようにみえることがあるようです。それに気づくと、妻はボクを責め、話をしなくなります。話を聞いていないと言われると、ボクは不満です。できるだけ話を聞こうとはしています。でも、時間の無駄なので反論しません。言い返そうものなら、10倍返しになるので。そのため、しばらくはいつも気まずい雰囲気になります。
　妻が話していることをいつも真剣に聞き、聞き逃さないようにしているというつもりはありません。実際、妻が言ったことの一部を聞き逃したこともあります。それは妻の話が長すぎるときです。その場合、最初のうちは、いつものように、話を熱心に聞くのですが、ボクに話をさせずに話を続けと、集中力が切れて、話を聞き続けられなくなります。その瞬間、妻に「自分の言ったことが届いていない」と言われます。妻の話に割り込もうとするのですが、いつも失敗します。妻は、言いたいことを言うまで話を止めないのです。
　でも、そんな気まずい会話を妻のせいにするつもりはありません。どちらかといえば、責められるべきはボクです。ボクは、妻ほどおしゃべりではありません。それどころか、ほとんどの場合、妻の話を聞いているばかりです。これに慣れすぎてしまったようです。話を聞くことに慣れてしまい、妻と会話をしていることを忘れてしまっているようです。会話スキルを磨きます。今からでも遅くはなさそうです。妻は、まだボクと会話をする用意があるようです。会話をリードする方法を学びます。