240914 ナントの件(少年誌と見え方)

男性は信じる性
女性は選ぶ性
そう言われて育って来た
つもりで居るのね

大好きな勲さんみたいに
知ってるという前提で話すね

レイって居るじゃないですか
水鳥拳の

彼を通して
信じるって事を知ったとは少々
大袈裟かも知れないけど

胸に暖かい…いや
熱いモノを感じた人は
居たんじゃないかしら

彼の登場は
彼の怒りと呪い
恨みを発していたよね

「胸に七つの傷を持つ男を殺すまでは
たとえ泥水を啜ってでも生き延びる」
みたいな事を宣う
とんでもなく恐ろしいキャラクターで

僕は読みながら
うーわー！ケン逃げてー！
って想ったんです

でも心の何処かでね
感じて居たんですよ

信じる性として
恨んで居続けて
行動に出続ける自分を
トコトン信じ切れている彼を
羨ましく憧れて居たんです

自分なら
妹を拐かされた自分を
護れなかった自分を
きっと責めただろうし

勿論レイも後悔とか自責が
無かったとは謂わないんですけど
何処か突き抜けていて
あぁ人を恨むならココまで突き抜けて
生き切って死にたい

そんな羨望と憧情を抱えたのは
何周目に読んだ時かしらね
(･ᴗ･)ﾈ

240914 Juvenile magazines
and gender visibility

Men are the believing sex
Women are choosers.
That's what I was told growing up.

Like your favorite Isao.
I'm assuming you know that.

There's Ray, right?
The water fowl fist.

Through him.
I learned to believe in him.
Maybe I'm overreacting.

But I'm sure there were people who felt warm... no.
I'm sure there were people who felt something warm... no, passionate...

He came on the scene emanating anger, curses, and resentment.

He was a terrifying character who proclaimed something like, "I'll live even if I have to slurp mud until I kill the man with the seven scars on his chest.

As I was reading the book...
"Oh my god! Ken, get away from him!
I thought.

But somewhere deep down.
I felt it.

As a believer.
I kept resenting him.
I kept acting out.
I envied him for his complete and utter faith in me.

I would have blamed myself for kidnapping my sister and not being able to protect her.

Of course, I don't mean to say that Ray didn't have regrets and remorse.
But there was something about him that stuck out.
If I'm going to hate someone, I want to go through it all.
I want to live to the fullest and die.

I had such envy and longing.
I wonder how many times I read it.
(･ᴗ･)?

by DeepL