Counting back

Five Steps
Four Scratches
Three beatings
Two breathings
One blinking
Zero

Some wounds never heal
They ooze, and itch and
You scratch their insides
With your nails,
Deeper and deeper
And stronger
Hoping to forget
Forget why
their appeared suddenly
On your body.

Four Scratches
Three beatings
Two breathings
One blinking
Zero

While the mind stay blank
You cannot stop words
Writing themselves
In front of your eyes
They tell stories of the past
And slowly
You fade away with them
We are just bones,
Sand, scattered away
With no consciousness

Three Beatings
Two breathings
One blinking
Zero

I can remember songs
Pages and pages
Words that had a meaning
I can still see faces
Smiles and grins
That once had names
Now I can see tiles
Water dripping on the floor
And a big white ceiling
As I close my eyes.

Two breathings
One blinking
Zero

The ink of my body
Nothing but scarred tissue
From another time
And the mirror reflects a ghost
Who i was, what we were
Alone with wide eyes
There's nothing there
An empty door
Behind my ribcage
No one lives inside anymore.

One blinking
Zéro

It could have been a movie
Juste like the one
Rolling inside my eyes
It could have been eternity
Written on our guts
The oceans of possibles
Washed away in the sink
With every other loves
Nothing but an echo
A faint song carried by the wind

Zéro
Zero
Zero
Zero.

Suspended into the void

Zero

Starring at nothing
Eyes wide open

Zero

I don't want to drown
Swallowed by oblivion

Zero

I want to go back
Pulled by my skin
I just want to feel

Zéro and a blink
And an breath
Zéro, and now a beating
One, two, on repeat,
And three breathings
And four stitches

And if I have to hold the needle myself
I'll do it again and again
I'll pierce the eyes of Destiny
And hurt her strong, and fast
Make her bow
Low, to my naked feet
Five steps away
And the sink broken on the floor
On the cold tiles
Where it's written red
“Never”
“never again.”

(well. What can we say. Nothing now. I have excruciating insomnias because of work. My head is unable to rest. I should be sleeping right now, i don't work before 3 hours and still have time to sleep. Fuck. 

I'd like to have real hollidays. Really. But nobody became successful by just staying sit on their butts. Well... I'm always tired.)