The practice of writing Eigo - part 1

* I am just going to scribble what is on my mind, so please bear my mistakes :) *

I know most of the people using note are Japanese and might not want to read an English diary but I feel like writing my thoughts in English today. Probably I am writing this to myself as a kind of a summary of the past few years as it's the end of my first academic year as a PhD candidate.

It's been almost one year since I moved to Budapest, where I was keen to live during my whole lifetime. Before that, I was in the UK for my masters and in Japan while working at Kyoto University and Keibunsha. 

I didn't expect myself to be at any of the places above and especially didn't think of going back to academia and studying again during my career. I've felt I don't deserve it for a long time, and of course still, I feel something similar. I love research and researchers but didn't want to put myself in such a respectful place. Truly, I am not...

While working at the university, I wanted to support researchers so that they can be more creative but realised that I could do nothing for them because of a lack of knowledge about what they need, which even the researchers themselves haven't realised yet. I could do some administrative works or organise events and talks, but it was not something that I wanted to do for them. It could be done by someone else, not me.

One year later, I started working at Keibunsha - a local, small and unique bookshop. I also didn't imagine that I was working in such an attractive workplace as a part of the staff. I engaged in various kinds of jobs which I couldn't have done if I were not working there. That working experience also cultivated my thoughts and some sad experiences in my relationships made me consider my career again, which probably drove me to come back here as a result. Of course, it's difficult or almost impossible to track a correct causal link to explain my life path.

While I was preparing for my masters, I met my supervisors by coincidence in Japan and was interested in their research, then luckily (or unluckily) I am now in Budapest. Explaining why I was eager to live in Budapest might take a long time so I will write about that at some point later but in general, I am satisfied with my life. Or I should say I persuaded myself to think in such a way.

Anyway, I am leaving for Amsterdam with my colleague tomorrow morning and will go back to Japan immediately after the short trip to the Netherlands. Look forward to seeing people and will prepare my mind for the next academic year...